So I wasn't really sure what to call this thread. I've been thinking about writing it for a few days, and thinking about the content for, well, years.

While I was on my drive for 50 notches in the belt, I'd always kind of assumed that once I got there, I would be satisfied and my perspective on girls would change. Now that I'm a member of the 50+ club, I am feeling much like a ship without a rudder. Very much unsatisfied.

Success for some guys may be as simple as getting a girlfriend or losing their virginity, but when you're so far beyond that and still feel a drive to go further still, it becomes rather disconcerting.

The past 3 nights, I have hooked up with 3 different girls, and I wish I could say that I felt validated in some way - but I don't. I often wonder to myself if I had a different girl for all 7 days of the week, if I would feel content then; but I doubt it.

I feel as if I will always want more girls, hotter girls, more hotter girls. 3 girls in 3 nights isn't enough, it has to be 5 girls in 3 nights or they all have to be 10's.

I wonder if I will ever reach the point where I'm satisfied and content with my level of success with women. This drive for pick-up has sabotaged many potential relationships and cost me the girl who I considered the love of my life. I don't know where it ends.

My biggest fear is that I won't be able to stop. It won't matter if I reach 100 girls, or 150. I could keep doing this for another 20 years (I'm 21) before it gets out of hand and I could very easily wind up old and lonely. As it is, I have very many lonely nights now. This is what keeps me up at night ..

Can't stop. Won't stop.

Some perspective: most people wind up sabotaging their relationships at 21. If it wasn't you chasing new girls it would probably be something else.

HOWEVER

Hooking up with new girls is a short term satisfying long term unsatisfying way to feel good about yourself. You need to get validation from other sources in your life. What is it that you care about in your career, studies, social life?

http://www.ted.com/talks/john_wooden_on_...ccess.html

Actually have a whole chapter in the new book about defining success... and no, notches on the belt is not it.

Hey,
I'm just curious, but where do you find all these girls? You say you have hooked up with 3 different girls over the last 3 night's, did you meet them in a nightclub? And the others?
Cheers

(05-19-2011 06:20 AM)DaveyDrama Wrote:  So I wasn't really sure what to call this thread. I've been thinking about writing it for a few days, and thinking about the content for, well, years.

While I was on my drive for 50 notches in the belt, I'd always kind of assumed that once I got there, I would be satisfied and my perspective on girls would change. Now that I'm a member of the 50+ club, I am feeling much like a ship without a rudder. Very much unsatisfied.

Success for some guys may be as simple as getting a girlfriend or losing their virginity, but when you're so far beyond that and still feel a drive to go further still, it becomes rather disconcerting.

The past 3 nights, I have hooked up with 3 different girls, and I wish I could say that I felt validated in some way - but I don't. I often wonder to myself if I had a different girl for all 7 days of the week, if I would feel content then; but I doubt it.

I feel as if I will always want more girls, hotter girls, more hotter girls. 3 girls in 3 nights isn't enough, it has to be 5 girls in 3 nights or they all have to be 10's.

I wonder if I will ever reach the point where I'm satisfied and content with my level of success with women. This drive for pick-up has sabotaged many potential relationships and cost me the girl who I considered the love of my life. I don't know where it ends.

My biggest fear is that I won't be able to stop. It won't matter if I reach 100 girls, or 150. I could keep doing this for another 20 years (I'm 21) before it gets out of hand and I could very easily wind up old and lonely. As it is, I have very many lonely nights now. This is what keeps me up at night ..

Can't stop. Won't stop.

Didn't you just say on another thread that you don't have sex with girls because of your Christian faith? If so, what do you mean by 'hooking up' with 3 girls? Just curious because three girls in three nights is pretty impressive, so it'd make sense if you're referring to kissing as hooking up.

Couple points:

1) The fact you're not having sex with these girls (if your previous statements were true) means that you don't actually have 50 notches. I've made out with and fooled around with probably over 300 girls at this point, but I don't count any of them, and honestly none of them were really significant experiences compared to the actual lays I've had.

2) Not having sex with them is going to leave you with a completely different after-experience than having sex with them. The major one being, having sex with girls usually makes you less motivated to have sex with more, whereas not having sex with girls usually makes you even MORE motivated to have sex with more. You're basically blue-balling yourself here. Also, the validation you're seeking from women is never actually being received because you keep stopping short of actually pulling the trigger. Therefore the actual validation you're "Addicted" to here is not from women, but from the reputation or the ego boost you get from knowing you "could" have sex with a bunch of girls, but the actual affection, excitement and emotional attachment that sex brings isn't actually getting to you.

It really does not sound like a pleasant place to be. I think the to (glaringly) obvious moves here are the following: 1) stop going out and doing pick up if you don't actually want to sleep with a bunch of girls. It makes absolutely no sense. Instead, meet nice, hot Christian girls and get a girlfriend, it's probably what you need anyway. Or 2) start fucking them.

(05-20-2011 01:19 AM)Eros Wrote:  Didn't you just say on another thread that you don't have sex with girls because of your Christian faith? If so, what do you mean by 'hooking up' with 3 girls? Just curious because three girls in three nights is pretty impressive, so it'd make sense if you're referring to kissing as hooking up.

Yeah I definitely should've put a disclaimer in there dude. Need to clarify: I will literally do everything right up until penetration. As in, rub my gentleman sausage against her lady garden but not enter the gates, so to speak.

(05-20-2011 02:21 AM)DaveyDrama Wrote:  

(05-20-2011 01:19 AM)Eros Wrote:  Didn't you just say on another thread that you don't have sex with girls because of your Christian faith? If so, what do you mean by 'hooking up' with 3 girls? Just curious because three girls in three nights is pretty impressive, so it'd make sense if you're referring to kissing as hooking up.

Yeah I definitely should've put a disclaimer in there dude. Need to clarify: I will literally do everything right up until penetration. As in, rub my gentleman sausage against her lady garden but not enter the gates, so to speak.

TMI... But I guess it was necessary.

Davey, I've actually been there. Not quite as extreme as you were, but I hooked up with a half dozen girls without actually having sex with any of them before I actually started having sex - it's an entirely different ball game. You will be way more satisfied when you are having sex with girls on a regular basis.