(05-11-2011 10:27 PM)cobrastyle Wrote:  So here's my problem: The most useful things I learnt in PU are sexual escalation and aggressiveness, pushing the interaction forward, being persistent and not giving up easily. I.e. clearly showing my sexual interest.
But when I'm showing this interest, doesn't that make me less of a challenge?
Or does it maybe depend on her mood: if shes not in a sexual mood, my advances come off as needy, but if she is, then it'll be fine?

Well, being aggressive is certainly good for ONS, but if you are dating a girl it is unnecessary and harmful. When she dates you and is sexually open minded, she is thinking about having sex with you anyway. If you are looking for a relationship or casual relationship, you should err on the side of caution.

Obviously you should allways take the lead and be dominant, but you should do it with style and not too much. Otherwise you can look needy and desperate or look like a wominising asshole (which certainly gets you some girls, but probably not the ones you are looking for).

Nice!

(05-17-2011 04:44 PM)Extropy Wrote:  

(05-11-2011 10:27 PM)cobrastyle Wrote:  So here's my problem: The most useful things I learnt in PU are sexual escalation and aggressiveness, pushing the interaction forward, being persistent and not giving up easily. I.e. clearly showing my sexual interest.
But when I'm showing this interest, doesn't that make me less of a challenge?
Or does it maybe depend on her mood: if shes not in a sexual mood, my advances come off as needy, but if she is, then it'll be fine?

Well, being aggressive is certainly good for ONS, but if you are dating a girl it is unnecessary and harmful. When she dates you and is sexually open minded, she is thinking about having sex with you anyway. If you are looking for a relationship or casual relationship, you should err on the side of caution.

Obviously you should allways take the lead and be dominant, but you should do it with style and not too much. Otherwise you can look needy and desperate or look like a wominising asshole (which certainly gets you some girls, but probably not the ones you are looking for).

How much interest do you show? show as much as you feel. DUH. There is no need for games. Girls don't thrive on the chase like guys do, we thrive on security. When we like a guy, we want him to show us and tell us that he is interested! Here is an example, I dated a guy not too long ago, where after our fist date, I mean immediately after while I was driving home, he called and told me he had a nice time and wanted to do it again. This continued after every single date and a month or so he tole me that he was enjoying dating and would like to continue and see where things go. I completely appreciated it. I felt very secure in where I stood and was not at all turned off by his obvious interest in me. Feeling secure allowed me to open up and be myself, I felt zero need to flirt with other guys to make him jealous or do other stupid shit that girls do when they feel insecure.
I do agree with some of the comments made that in the beginning, being up a girls ass does come off not so much as desperate, but more insincere. As an example, if after one date a guy is calling me multiple times a day, telling me how much he cant wait to see me again or saying how beautiful I am, whatever, I usually think it is fake because how could he really think these things after one date. But as in my experience, plainly saying that you are interested is not at all too much.

(05-18-2011 07:03 AM)youregettingitwrong Wrote:  How much interest do you show? show as much as you feel. DUH. There is no need for games. Girls don't thrive on the chase like guys do, we thrive on security. When we like a guy, we want him to show us and tell us that he is interested! Here is an example, I dated a guy not too long ago, where after our fist date, I mean immediately after while I was driving home, he called and told me he had a nice time and wanted to do it again. This continued after every single date and a month or so he tole me that he was enjoying dating and would like to continue and see where things go. I completely appreciated it. I felt very secure in where I stood and was not at all turned off by his obvious interest in me. Feeling secure allowed me to open up and be myself, I felt zero need to flirt with other guys to make him jealous or do other stupid shit that girls do when they feel insecure.
I do agree with some of the comments made that in the beginning, being up a girls ass does come off not so much as desperate, but more insincere. As an example, if after one date a guy is calling me multiple times a day, telling me how much he cant wait to see me again or saying how beautiful I am, whatever, I usually think it is fake because how could he really think these things after one date. But as in my experience, plainly saying that you are interested is not at all too much.

If you don't mind me asking how old are you? You can give me a range if that's more appropriate because I feel it totally depends on the woman's age and maturity level. I've dealt with 22 year old girls who play so many games it is almost nauseating to deal with. I've also dealt with 28 year old woman who don't bullshit me at all. There are so many variables. Just don't be eager in the beginning and have patience. In my experiences it's not good to come on too strong in the beginning. Just have fun and things will progress naturally if it's meant to be. If the girl becomes a hassle (playing games/giving me bullshit) I generally tend to move on to the next one.

(06-14-2011 12:44 PM)BrB Wrote:  If the girl becomes a hassle (playing games/giving me bullshit) I generally tend to move on to the next one.

Good for you! And that's what naturally happens, you get tired of so much bullshit and move on.

Quote:How much interest do you show? show as much as you feel. DUH.

lol, for some reason they never listen to me when I say stuff like this. Hopefully it sinks in when you say it.

(06-15-2011 03:01 AM)Mark Wrote:  

Quote:How much interest do you show? show as much as you feel. DUH.

lol, for some reason they never listen to me when I say stuff like this. Hopefully it sinks in when you say it.

I still have to disagree with this one. If I really like a girl, I have to reign myself in and physically hold myself back from talking to her all day every day. No way I'm going to be all over someone like that. Totally counter-productive. Mind games FTW.

*Waiting for Mark to explain why I'm wrong

There's a difference between expressing interest and harassing a girl 24/7.

Oh clearly. But the quote was, 'Show as much as you feel'. Sometimes that would equate to harassing her 24/7. I don't think that quote should be taken literally at all.

I think better advice would be to not feel like you need to call someone 24/7.