Also meet new cool male friends and hang out with them... you will gain their habits over time

You definitely will learn a lot if you hang out with friends who are social and have game. Usually all people in a certain social circle are somewhat alike. You will take over eachother's habits.

You don't need to see a therapist because you're a nerd. I went to see a therapist because I had trouble meeting girls. He told me that I seemed to have perfectly good social skills and that I didn't seem very socially anxious. Therapists are for people with real phobias and anxiety disorders, not miscalibrated men or men with approach anxiety.

Well you do learn whats possible.
One of my frat friends pulled a new girl at least once a week. The only over average thing about him was that he approached pretty much any hot girl in the club...

I think I said this earlier but a blank journal is the best product you can buy. It gets filled with a whole heap of shit but after regular input (about your approaches of course) it becomes your own method and you get confident in that. Worst thing is to keep coming back to a method that doesnt work for you and think that its broken in some way. To make it your own you need to review it.
As they say: "If you dont write your wrong".

p.s. having friends is a must and the foundation of a happy life, not a pick-up bolt on.

(04-15-2011 03:03 AM)Philip Wrote:  You don't need to see a therapist because you're a nerd. I went to see a therapist because I had trouble meeting girls. He told me that I seemed to have perfectly good social skills and that I didn't seem very socially anxious. Therapists are for people with real phobias and anxiety disorders, not miscalibrated men or men with approach anxiety.

Yeah exactly, just like you don't go to a doctor to get your arm fixed if you are bad at shooting at basketball. You get a basketball coach. You need a medical help only if your arm is injured.

(04-15-2011 06:12 AM)Frozen Flame Wrote:  

(04-15-2011 03:03 AM)Philip Wrote:  You don't need to see a therapist because you're a nerd. I went to see a therapist because I had trouble meeting girls. He told me that I seemed to have perfectly good social skills and that I didn't seem very socially anxious. Therapists are for people with real phobias and anxiety disorders, not miscalibrated men or men with approach anxiety.

Yeah exactly, just like you don't go to a doctor to get your arm fixed if you are bad at shooting at basketball. You get a basketball coach. You need a medical help only if your arm is injured.

I am catching flak from all sides now lol....anyway I interpreted being a nerd meaning being socially anxious etc having social phobias, real phobias...

Therapists are for emotional problems that are affecting your life negatively. For instance, mommy died when you were eight and now you feel like crying every time you kiss a girl. Shit like that.

I'd say maybe 1/4 of the guys I work with NEED therapy. Although I think everyone could benefit from it quite a bit.

The problem with therapy is that therapists are people, too. Some therapists are great, but many of them suck. And perhaps we are each compatible with different kinds of therapists. I've had therapy for a short time, and I didn't think the guy did a good job.

One thing that's drastically different between PUA's and most therapists is that a therapist's goal is to make you NORMAL, while in PU we want to become EXCEPTIONAL. When I explained that I wanted to get better with women, the guy instantly started thinking about how I was overcompensating, since the desire to get good with women is not normal. My life from his point of view was already good, because it was quite average.

(04-15-2011 11:37 PM)Philip Wrote:  The problem with therapy is that therapists are people, too. Some therapists are great, but many of them suck. And perhaps we are each compatible with different kinds of therapists. I've had therapy for a short time, and I didn't think the guy did a good job.

One thing that's drastically different between PUA's and most therapists is that a therapist's goal is to make you NORMAL, while in PU we want to become EXCEPTIONAL. When I explained that I wanted to get better with women, the guy instantly started thinking about how I was overcompensating, since the desire to get good with women is not normal. My life from his point of view was already good, because it was quite average.

Not true at all. A good therapist has no goal in a therapy! This one is the most fundamental, crucial point of good therapy. The client sets the goals, the therapist is merely a mirror who is to show the client what hes not able to see himself and a supporter helping him to reach this goals.
PS: Of course, therapists are just people but (unlike most PU-Coaches) they receive special training to not project their emotional issues onto the client. Still, you may have just bad luck and get someone who was not able to do that.

As with any profession, there are good therapists and bad therapists. I always recommend guys to do some research and even take a single consultation session with one to see if they click well. Most therapists I looked at do something like this. Been meaning to write a post on therapy for a while.