All in the topic, a yes/no and why would do.

I'm not bad-looking, my sexual vibe is okay. I've stopped teasing women maybe a few months ago as I tended to blow them out/come off too cold/uncaring and they stopped believing my complements/ good intentions/ got aloof themselves. Instead, aside from my facial expressions, everything I say now is almost purely comfort.

On one end of the scale, results generally got better - when girls hooked, they hooked, and weren't eratic. On the other end of the scale, I started boring the shit out of some other girls.

Anyway, did my first direct daygame approach today following what was outlined in the daygame thread (after years of only nightgame). Did normal conversation, nothing flashy, open direct, be quick.

She checked me out before the trains came, sat right beside me and I thought "now or never". She read the Belgian paper and was nervous, so I ask her if she was Belgian (yeah duh) then told her that I found her so pretty that I just had to say hi - it just came out, still don't believe I said that both casually and sober, which is great.

Her face lit up, she thanks me, we talk a bit about what we are doing in Brussels, we both ask each other basic stuff, she's smiling and curious. She says she works in Unicef and would help disabled kids today. I qualify her on liking to help people, and tell her she's by far the most charitable person I've met at 7am in the metro and she says "Stop, you're exaggerating!". Something about the way she said was she was legit disqualifying herself.

In my head, I'm thinking "fuck, I'm too nice again". Convo's still good but everything's going so quick, her train comes, I tell her I wanted to get her number but she literally has to make it to the train and can't - I see the train, and it's open for a few seconds, so truth. Very proud about my first daygame direct. So different, and I was shocked by the brevity of the whole thing.

However, this "girl disqualifies herself after I complement/ qualify her" thing happened maybe 3 times in the past 2 weeks. Doesn't happen all the time, but can't be a good thing and I feel I've crossed no challenge zone when it happens.

I probably know the answer, which is to back off a bit, do a metaphorical push, but a second opinion is always good. If anybody's got preventive measures, that would be great. Not only talking about this incident, but when things like these happen in general - the other times I cite are all at night.

Oh, and did I mention I'm proud of my first daygame direct approach!

Cheers,

-Kenj

It depends on the tone of voice. Her saying "stop you are exaggerating" could mean she really likes it and is being modest, or she might be getting uncomfortable. You can use your judgment about which, we weren't there and didn't hear the tone. (Also I don't know what language you guys were actually speaking, so it's hard to judge the subtleties in translation).

Generally, I would say just let it go and tone down the compliments a bit if you think you came on too strong. No need to do a specific "push" type line if that's what you mean.

(06-28-2011 05:33 AM)Jon Wrote:  Generally, I would say just let it go and tone down the compliments a bit if you think you came on too strong. No need to do a specific "push" type line if that's what you mean.

Simple, to the point, applicable, and makes sense.
Thanks for the feedback Jon.

I find that negs generally work better than compliments anyway.

That being said, I like the way you said 'you're the most charitable person i've met at 7 a.m. in the Metro. You made a joke out of it which difused the compliment and made it seem not so serious.

In this specific instance, I don't think she was disqualifying herself at all. She was just being playful in return, 'Oh stop it!' or she was genuinely flattered.

If you continue to throw humour like that into your compliments, you're definitely on the right track.

PS - Congrats on your first daygame approach. You've certainly got the ball rolling in the right direction even if you didn't get the number. Well done.

Word Dave,

Quote:That being said, I like the way you said 'you're the most charitable person i've met at 7 a.m. in the Metro. You made a joke out of it which difused the compliment and made it seem not so serious.

That's exactly what I tried to do - it's so ridiculous to say that so hoping she picked up on the humor, but not sure she did. And it still falls under the category of "normal" (kinda) during the day.

Quote:If you continue to throw humour like that into your compliments, you're definitely on the right track.

You picked up on something big as my genuine compliments do tend to get heady sometimes. I'll take these ridiculous/ fun complements over negs though - in essence, taking a comfort over value stance.

These kinds of complements are a nice middle ground - playful without being a dick and certainly not boring. That's the plan now, thanks for pointing that out man.