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PUAs and Friend Zone Paranoia - pros80 - 04-24-2011 08:02 AM

The Pua community has put in a lot of guys heads how bad it is to have female friends and get to know attractive women on a friend level.

As if that happens they will never ever get sex. There are Expensive products seminars and all kinds of garbage out there on how to go through the complicated steps of getting out of the horrible friends zone.

Well when you look at how so many couples and attractive hot women meet their current boyfriends they started as friends or aquantinces first. She was with another guy and he was around when they broke up etc. etc.. That seems very normal.

When I got into pua I pushed away the idea of having any type of female friends . Now I think back, and say it could have opened more doors!!!

Maybe Entropy has a similar or different take???


RE: PUAs and Friend Zone Paranoia - equilibrium - 04-24-2011 08:10 AM

I don't think the community objects to the general idea of having women as friends. David DeAngelo wrote about how female friends could be a great source of fashion tips, pop culture and other stuff. (Although probably not necessarily a good source of advice on "what women want" - as opposed to what they think they should want - unless they are remarkably free from self-delusion.)

What the community seems to object to most - correctly, in my opinion - is the idea of a guy "waiting and hoping", stuck in the friend zone for his super-special one-itis girl, when he could be going out and creating abundance for himself in his dating life by doing the usual PUA things.


RE: PUAs and Friend Zone Paranoia - Mark - 04-24-2011 08:13 AM

I've seen some guys who've rejected the idea of even being friends with women at all. But it's been guys on forums, not coaches. I think it's kind of sad.

I always had more female friends than male friends growing up. I still have tons of female friends, some I've slept with, some I've never slept with, some I would never consider sleeping with. They're fantastic. I feel like it's pretty clear when you're talking to a guy who has never spent much time around women. You learn so much just from being around them and talking to them without any ulterior motives.


RE: PUAs and Friend Zone Paranoia - equilibrium - 04-24-2011 08:45 AM

(04-24-2011 08:10 AM)equilibrium Wrote:  David DeAngelo wrote about how female friends could be a great source of fashion tips, pop culture and other stuff.

In case it wasn't obvious, this part is only relevant in reference to "how can this help your game". It's not a great idea to cultivate friends solely for how useful they are to you or what they can provide you.

Obviously (or maybe not so obviously) it's good to have female friends because it's good to have friends in general, as an essential part of being a well-balanced person living a normal life.


RE: PUAs and Friend Zone Paranoia - saito - 04-24-2011 09:04 AM

Also, it enlarges your amygdala as shown in

http://www.nature.com/neuro/journal/vaop/ncurrent/full/nn.2724.html
http://healthland.time.com/2010/12/28/how-to-win-friends-have-a-big-amygdala/?xid=rss-topstories

Seriously, in my experience female friends can backfire. One of them became hostile because she was interested in me but I was not attracted to her; teased a friend of hers in a attempt to hit on her. Since then they call me rude guy and turn their back on me. Maybe I am just socialy awkward. Just wanted to point out the down side.


RE: PUAs and Friend Zone Paranoia - Mark - 04-24-2011 02:52 PM

(04-24-2011 08:45 AM)equilibrium Wrote:  In case it wasn't obvious, this part is only relevant in reference to "how can this help your game". It's not a great idea to cultivate friends solely for how useful they are to you or what they can provide you.

Obviously (or maybe not so obviously) it's good to have female friends because it's good to have friends in general, as an essential part of being a well-balanced person living a normal life.

+1

Saito: that's not female friends and that's not backfiring. That's just people. Sometimes people get mad at you. Sometimes friends don't like something you did. And that's fine.


RE: PUAs and Friend Zone Paranoia - 8_ball - 04-24-2011 06:26 PM

(04-24-2011 08:13 AM)Mark Wrote:  You learn so much just from being around them and talking to them without any ulterior motives.

So true. Soecially from older women. I have a female friend who is 33 and i`ve never learned from a person (in the "real" world, not in the PU community) so much about women like from her . I think its because older women know what they want in life and been through so much bullshit, that they are very honest with themselves and with you, donĀ“t play games, and have just so much experience to share.


RE: PUAs and Friend Zone Paranoia - Mark - 04-24-2011 08:00 PM

Women 30+ are awesome. Even if I'm not attracted to them, I love hanging out and talking to them. They're still feminine and fun, but without all of the bullshit and insecurity.


RE: PUAs and Friend Zone Paranoia - Extropy - 04-24-2011 08:24 PM

(04-24-2011 08:13 AM)Mark Wrote:  I've seen some guys who've rejected the idea of even being friends with women at all. But it's been guys on forums, not coaches. I think it's kind of sad.

I always had more female friends than male friends growing up. I still have tons of female friends, some I've slept with, some I've never slept with, some I would never consider sleeping with. They're fantastic. I feel like it's pretty clear when you're talking to a guy who has never spent much time around women. You learn so much just from being around them and talking to them without any ulterior motives.

About two weeks ago I was talking to a friend who is practicing all this MM stuff and were talking about a female friend of mine who I know for about 3 months and was going for lunch or dinner about 3 times a week but I never hit on her or escalated in any way. When I said that I never got it any level higher but was thinking about it, he asked me if I really am a PUA (I hate this expression).

It is probably connected with low self esteem and a lack of sexual and social experience when guys think sex is all there is about girls. Kinda pathetic when you compare those cock thinking "PUAs" (if they get laid at all lol) with the socialable guy who doesnt focus on sex at all and it just comes as a by-product.


RE: PUAs and Friend Zone Paranoia - matty - 04-25-2011 10:24 PM

Ya, I also don't think all male/female friendships are created equal. I've known a lot of friends who have slept with their female friends, and the common denominator seems to be that they had a pretty flirty friendship to begin with. I've also seen a few instances where the girl is inexplicably attracted to her guy friend. I just don't think its as cut and dry as the PUA's would have you believe. There tends to be a lot more going on.