Tonight I came the closest that I've ever come to an SNL. I pulled the girl (extremely drunk) to my doorstep. She was drunk, but wanted it. But her programming made her resist. I opened her with "Your eyes are beautiful. What's your name?". She said, "It doesn't matter". My attraction turned off. So I sat there and ignored her. She started getting needy for my attention and started falling on me. Then she said, "I'm ready to go". I said, "Alright, let's go".
When I tried to catch a cab, I put my arm round her waist and walked. She started resisting. I got irritated and pushed. I ignored for a bit and she started following me. We got into the cab. I got her a bit relaxed and made her feel comfortable. We got out of the cab. And she said, she wanted to leave. Being so close, I got a bit needy for the outcome, her resistance kicked in and she got into the cab.
The thing with this girl is that she required all push game. If I showed any interest at all or got needy for the outcome in any way, she would resist. I didn't realize this, until after I lost the lay. But the pattern was clear. Next time.
Sorry but this just sounds like she wasn't that into you. She was drunk and horny, you were there, she changed her mind before going through with sex. Don't waste your time chasing girls who aren't excited to sleep with you or are trying to play stupid games.
I know you're excited in that you got closer to a goal than ever before... but FirstAidKit is right.
If you go out enough, things like this will happen to you quite a bit. And they're deceiving. It has little to do with you, it's a "right place; right time" kind of thing. Ask yourself, what was the best-case scenario here? You pressure a sloppy drunk girl enough into having sex with you, to which she sobers up, may or may not remember what happened, most likely immediately regrets it, and you've got another notch to write about on a forum. Don't get me wrong, I'm not preaching to you. I've done the exact same thing in the exact same situation. But if I remember correctly, you were the one posting about how the lays your getting aren't even enjoyable. This isn't a coincidence.
If you're not really enjoying your sexual experiences so far I'd really recommend taking things a bit slower for a while and focus on meeting more girls that you actually like and are really attracted to. Frankly, for a while, you're probably going to be not great in bed, technique-wise. If you're able to honestly communicate with a girl about what feels good for you and what works for her, you're going to improve rapidly. Sloppy drunk sex where one or both parties isn't that into it is not the venue, and its going to suck for both of you. It doesn't have to be a serious exclusive relationship but I think a good base of affection and respect is really necessary.
Have you tried online dating? If you're in a large-ish city, you should. By the time someone agrees to meet you she's already halfway interested, and it makes building a rapport (and then getting laid) much quicker and easier than going in cold.
Agreed on all counts. In the past my problem has been embracing my sexuality. What I'm happy about is the fact that I pulled the trigger when it came down to it - something I've never been able to do before. It goes without saying that the chick wasn't into me. I hardly spoke one word to her. As for my lays being unenjoyable, I think a lot of it has to do (atleast, i hope) with my lack of experience - having sex twice in life is simply not a big enough sample set.
EDIT: The above was written before FirstAidKit's response.
(08-08-2011 01:08 AM)FirstAidKit Wrote: [ -> ]If you're not really enjoying your sexual experiences so far I'd really recommend taking things a bit slower for a while and focus on meeting more girls that you actually like and are really attracted to. Frankly, for a while, you're probably going to be not great in bed, technique-wise. If you're able to honestly communicate with a girl about what feels good for you and what works for her, you're going to improve rapidly. Sloppy drunk sex where one or both parties isn't that into it is not the venue, and its going to suck for both of you. It doesn't have to be a serious exclusive relationship but I think a good base of affection and respect is really necessary.
Have you tried online dating? If you're in a large-ish city, you should. By the time someone agrees to meet you she's already halfway interested, and it makes building a rapport (and then getting laid) much quicker and easier than going in cold.
I totally agree with what you're saying FirstAidKit. I'll look into the online dating thing. Somehow I've always resisted it.
Congrats on being able to pull the trigger though dude! I'm in the same boat you are, it's a pain in the ass to have to fight through.
I think mark and first aid kit are spot on and don't need to add anything, except that when I saw the title of this thread I immediately thought the A in SNAL stood for anal.
And Shadow, sounds like you are putting in the effort, making good progress, and doing a good job of analyzing your sticking points. So, good stuff.
My personal take on the drunk, clearly horny girls (which you run into every month or so as mark says) is that I'll lead, but I absolutely won't push. I'll move the interaction forward, but if there's any resistance I just drop it and wait for her to reinitiate.