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Full Version: FR: german insta-date
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I approached this girl, while she was sitting by herself. I opened with, "I liked your scarf and wanted to say hello". We made a bunch of fluff talk. I teased her, about being German, about how she didn't really come here to study English, but to visit the US etc.

After the preliminaries and some general rapport talk, I told her that I was going to get a sandwich and if she wanted to come. I don't know if this was important or not. But I actually didn't plan this. I was going to get her email (I already found out that she had her German number, by bringing up cell phones). But just as I was telling her that I got to go, I told her, "Hey, I was going to get a sandwich. Do you want to go with me?". She promptly agreed. I kept up the fun vibe (over gaming?). When we got to the sandwich place, I looked her in the eye and tried to take her hand. She immediately got nervous and pulled her hand back. She asked me, "What are you doing?". I told her, "I find you cute". She said, "Sorry, I don't like it". I let the silence linger for a bit and then talked casually again. I suddenly realized that I was making way more effort than her. In my mind, it went like this, "Fuck this. Why am I making so much effort?". I remembered how Krauser said that as time goes by, he reduces his investment and lets the girl do the talking. I started doing that.

I stopped talking, unless she said something. I stared at the sky, at the building, at everything. She frequently looked at me, but I ignored her. She made a mess while eating the sandwich, which made her a bit self-conscious. I teased her a bit about that. In general, I started withdrawing attention. I did give her hooks to join me for activities though. For example, she said she loved dancing. Sometime later, I told her, "I'm going to some salsa clubs and she could come if she wanted to." No dice. There were a couple more such instances. In one of those cases, I didn't invite her. Just told her that my friends and I were going next weekend to this place that she was interested in visiting. She didn't take any of the baits (disinterest?). Once I withdrew interest though, she was giving stronger eye contact. When we said goodbye, for just a moment, I thought I saw disappointment in her eyes.

What do you think I did wrong?
Hi Shadow,

first of all: congratulations for your first instant date!

If you invest the time and energy to adopt solid daygame skills, you can have that almost every day you go out for sarging, if you really want it. Imagine how this would enrich your life.

The real problem is, you’ve mentioned it in the other thread, that your game activity has been on-and-off for a long time. That’s a no-go. If you want to get good at something (if it’s Pick Up or table tennis or whatever), you have to practice it with continuity.

Obviously you have difficulties with calibration. Constant practice experience is the solution.

You’re in a learning process, so don’t be too harsh on yourself. You deserve to be proud of yourself today.
Thanks for the feedback, General.

I definitely agree that the lack of consistency has been a problem. That is actually the only reason I moved to the city, though it makes my commute way longer. I am hoping to get this stuff sorted out soon. I have the base skills. I just need to practice and improve my calibration.

And yes, I am happy. It shows all the work over the past few weeks is actually going somewhere. I also # closed a local girl. Let's see how that goes.
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