Mark,
How would you
1.- pick up girls when you are visiting a busy doctors office
and only have a few minutes to chat before the next client comes up?
2.- How would you pick up a girl at the supermarket check out line?
3.- How would you pick up a girl at the GYm, when the gym frowns upon that?
4.- How would you pickup a doctor / nurse?
5.- How would you pick up hairdresser while she is working on you.
6.- at the bus stop.
Think of these situations with these women in these different places of business with their boss near by...how would you do that.
I look forward to yur replay with detailed thoughhtful comments
Thanks
RJ
(04-08-2011 06:42 AM)wijesir Wrote: [ -> ]Mark,
How would you
1.- pick up girls when you are visiting a busy doctors office
and only have a few minutes to chat before the next client comes up?
2.- How would you pick up a girl at the supermarket check out line?
3.- How would you pick up a girl at the GYm, when the gym frowns upon that?
4.- How would you pickup a doctor / nurse?
5.- How would you pick up hairdresser while she is working on you.
6.- at the bus stop.
Think of these situations with these women in these different places of business with their boss near by...how would you do that.
I look forward to yur replay with detailed thoughhtful comments
Thanks
RJ
1. Go direct.
2. Comment on something in her basket. Switch topic to something personal ("You're not from X, are you?"), feel her out and see how receptive she is to my flirting. If she's receptive, then ask her out for coffee or something. Grab number. If she's not receptive, just move on.
3. Go direct.
4. You mean that you have an appointment with? Chit-chat during the appointment. Feel her out, see if she's receptive to my flirting. If she is, go for number AFTER we're finished with the appointment. If she's not receptive, move on.
5. See above.
6. Go direct.
I have a bit of experience with gym game, so I'd love to comment. I'm excited to hear corrections Mark may have on this too!
If your gym frowns upon meeting women, do they frown upon you talking with other men while training too? This is an odd line, obviously there is some stigma with a meathead hitting on girls at the gym, but assuming you have some reasonable level of intuition about if you're pissing off every girl there, I think you'll be fine. I say this knowing well that I look like a meathead, yet the gym is one of my most promising spots to meet people.
There are a couple interesting things to note about this however:
* people are creatures of habit, especially when it comes to training: you will often see the same people at the same time doing the same thing. If you detonate terribly, you will still run into the same girl(s) at the gym. More positively, you can build a bit of rapport more easily than a 45-second encounter on the street.
** A mistake I've made with this is being TOO slow with the approach. I had tried to buddy-up to the girl first, and did just that. I was a buddy. Note that you will see her somewhat frequently, so the rush to get her number isn't there like in many nightlife situations, but take initiative in the interaction.
* Girls hide under hats, and behind iPods at the gym. This will be something to work through, and it may sometimes be annoying there are ways around it. Use sense here. If a girl with 8% bodyfat is running sprints on a treadmill and looks like she could kick your ass, wait until her intervals are finished before trying to get her to pull the headphones out. Find time in between a set, or when stretching on mats to strike up a chat. Respect the fact that they might be there to get something done as well. This also ties into the next one:
* The drinking fountain is a magical place. This is somethign of a gimme, because I feel like everyone knows this, but everyone goes to the drinking fountain mulitple times they're in the gym. You can get eye contact, throw a smile, crack a joke and use body language effectively here. Alot of times people will take headphones out momentarily to grab a drink of water.
* I've found the mentality that works well for me is: when in a training set or just about to begin, very focused. But as soon as I complete that set, I'm playful and happy. A balance between someone there to work because they care (which you really *should*, not just try to project) but doesn't take themselves TOO seriously seems to work well. This is especially effective if you're a bigger guy. The bigger you are, the more likely you'll be categorized as a meathead. The more playful you are in this case the better. A takeaway here is: don't meanmug, and don't "act hard". Its not intimidating to anyone you care about, and it doesn't improve your situation with girls observing you in that microcosm.
* Do not offer unsolicited advice. I've tried both sides of this fence having been a trainer part-time in college and having a background in it. 99% of people do not want your advice on training. The 1% that might, will ask. As true this is for women it is doubly so for men. Be impressive in work ethic, results, and attitude. Do not belittle other men front of women to make yourself look good.
--
One thing that has always been effective was making a girl in the weight training area feel more comfortable. A number of times I'll grab a dumbbell or be unloading a bar or something and turn around to a girl then jump back a bit like she scared me saying something stupid like "whoa! don't take my lunch money". I almost always get a laugh, and you can just see the tension they have melt. Women in the gym often feel very uncomfortable. Humor can help break through that.
I'm first to admit that I suck at meeting girls in the gym. Don't like it. Rarely do it. So thanks for posting this rockdon.
(04-08-2011 07:07 AM)Mark Wrote: [ -> ] (04-08-2011 06:42 AM)wijesir Wrote: [ -> ]Mark,
How would you
1.- pick up girls when you are visiting a busy doctors office
and only have a few minutes to chat before the next client comes up?
2.- How would you pick up a girl at the supermarket check out line?
3.- How would you pick up a girl at the GYm, when the gym frowns upon that?
4.- How would you pickup a doctor / nurse?
5.- How would you pick up hairdresser while she is working on you.
6.- at the bus stop.
Think of these situations with these women in these different places of business with their boss near by...how would you do that.
I look forward to yur replay with detailed thoughhtful comments
Thanks
RJ
1. Go direct.
2. Comment on something in her basket. Switch topic to something personal ("You're not from X, are you?"), feel her out and see how receptive she is to my flirting. If she's receptive, then ask her out for coffee or something. Grab number. If she's not receptive, just move on.
3. Go direct.
4. You mean that you have an appointment with? Chit-chat during the appointment. Feel her out, see if she's receptive to my flirting. If she is, go for number AFTER we're finished with the appointment. If she's not receptive, move on.
5. See above.
6. Go direct.
I appreciate ROCKDONs comments and thoughts...as for Marks comments...all he's comments mean to me is that I should never buy a single product from him...since all he seems to care about is giving a tiny snippet of a comment and not very well described, explained or thought out.
I can imagine your products must be just as badly constructed as your post to my questions.
Thanks ROCKDON for your help.
Mark Manson--->Thanks for nothing useful
Alright! And we officially have a forum!
lol...
Wij, dude, take it down a notch...If you've read anything that Mark has wrote, and I agree with him, it's that a lot of "pick-up" is mental masturbation.
Just like Woody Allen Said, "80% of success is just showing up"
You're going to get a lot more success from pickup from just going up to a girl, opening your mouth, getting out of your head, and caring about what you say less and less. I think that Mark's replies are so succinct is because in a subtle way, he's trying to get that point across. A lot of the time, coming up with the "perfect opener" for every situation is a waste of time, and you'll save yourself a lot of time and angst just going up to a girl and saying, "hey, I think you're cute and wanted to get to know you a little better..." and then just talking to her
Still, on the other-hand, I DO understand where you're coming from because when I was starting out with this crap, I was so clueless that I would have NO IDEA how to, or even WHAT Mark means when he says, "feel a girl out and see if she's receptive to flirting" - for example. Sometimes it can be hard to know what someone is looking for when they ask the question cause it's hard to gauge people's level of experience at first. I think if you just ask a follow up question like, "What do you mean 'gauge her response'" - You'll be able to draw out a lot more insight and advice than you ever thought possible. It's actually exciting how far the rabbit hole goes on some of this issues, so don't get upset man. This can be really confusing and overwhelming at first, and it's easy to forget that after you've been doing this for a while because all the sudden it just feels like common sense. So relax, we're all friends here, and I think you'll find the harder you push seeking knowledge, the more you'll be rewarded
Hope this helps,
Brett
omg, I just re-read my spelling and grammar on this last post...and holy shit do I need some sleep. I've been staring at a computer screen for the last like 13 hours straight studying!
Thanks Brett...
anyway who the hell is this Mark guy anyway...is there any infield video footage of him doing pickup w/sound...or is he just 1 more pua x-pert bla bla bla...and no proof..."show me the money" Mark....hahahaha
Marks the man, dude. Literally one of the most down to earth, no bullshit, realistic guys out there that not only focus's on meeting women, but happiness, philosophy, science, and REALLY helpful mindsets as well...and no, he's not paying me or anything...I just really believe in his teachings, and I've worked with a number of guys including Sinn and Brad P. (both of whom are also pretty good btw)...Sinn is CRAZY but he knows a lot of shit.