Could please explain this affirmation?
Men will convince themselves of things -- that they like a girl more than they do, that they want a relationship, that she's hotter than she is -- before they have sex with a girl. In fact, these delusions are evolutionary designed to get you to have sex with her.
Women, by the same token are evolutionary wired to like a guy more AFTER they have sex with him. They backwards rationalize things about him -- that he's nicer than he actually is, that he's better looking than he actually is, etc.
Interesting point. In fact to me this is almost something that usually always holds true.
In my experience anyway. That's part of the reason why Ive become cautious now before sleeping with girls - because I know half the time I really just want sex, and then after I'm going to get a whole lot of shit from that girl afterwards, usually anyway.
Although Ive found the best one night stands/SNL's are with girls where you don't know the girl at all beforehand, and you leave/she leaves in the morning and thats it. It gives you a lot more freedom to just leave it as a completely no strings sex or perhaps call if you really want. On the other hand, if the girl is part of your wider social circle, or you have met her a few times before and probably will again/or actually know them, then having sex most of time always tends to equal a lot of 'politics' and/or bullshit from the girl/her friends etc. And again - this objectivity dogma really makes sense as the formula here.
So these days I only like really getting with girls that aren't in my social circle, I could make exceptions of course but generally, if the shit hits the fan with a girl, then at least its not going to be public knowledge, and cause divisions in your social circle etc. And when it comes to SNL's, the more anonymity the better. Its the closest you can come to no strings attached sex.
007 - methinks you're worrying too much about it. Just go for it. You'll be surprised how much of a non-issue it really is 90% of the time.
Two weeks ago I finally slept with this gorgeous and adventurous girl I wanted to get for over two months. In the next morning I told my flatmate: "Before the sex I thought she was special."
"No matter how hot she is, some guy, somewhere, is tired of fucking her."
- Chris Rock (I think?)
(04-08-2011 03:32 PM)Mark Wrote: [ -> ]Men will convince themselves of things -- that they like a girl more than they do, that they want a relationship, that she's hotter than she is -- before they have sex with a girl. In fact, these [/size]delusions are evolutionary designed to get you to have sex with her.
Women, by the same token are evolutionary wired to like a guy more AFTER they have sex with him. They backwards rationalize things about him -- that he's nicer than he actually is, that he's better looking than he actually is, etc.
Delusions, that's exactly what I've felt. I was soooo interested in a girl until we went out on 2 dates and she showed me her real personality: bad temper and tom boy, yuuuuuck!
Friking Oxytocin
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oxytocin
(04-10-2011 09:20 AM)Mark Wrote: [ -> ]"No matter how hot she is, some guy, somewhere, is tired of fucking her."
- Chris Rock (I think?)
Yes, Chris Rock said that.
Ha. I've had exactly the same happen. I had had some dirty instant messaging conversations with this girl I met 2 years earlier on vacation. She wanted to meet up. Eventually we met up at my place. We had sex. The moment I came the whole world changed, and I realized I did not want this girl lying at my side. I felt 0 emotional connection to her. The ONLY reason I got to that point was because I just really wanted to fuck. Not her, in general. The rest of the time she was here was very awkward. A while later she said I could 'make it up to her' and she wanted to start dating, and I declined saying that I was only interested in a sexual thing. She was not amused.
Edit: The last bit kind of ties into Mark's blogpost about the Ethics of being a player. I could have simply gone on dates with her and had sex with her, while knowing that I didn't care about her. But I was completely 100% honest with her, flat out saying that I was interested in a sexual thing, which she refused. I felt good about being completely honest, but maybe that's too nice guy and I should have just dated her... Note that the sex was not bad. Or at least very interesting, because she was very multi-orgasmic.
I always follow the rule: do whatever you want as long as you don't hurt anyone in some way.
So there is in my opinion nothing wrong with having sex just for the sake of having sex...
@Topic
Does that mean that more you escalate, get compliance from her etc (not just after sex), she will backwards rationalize more reasons for you being attractive?